April 9, 2006

  •        More things
    are wrought by prayer
             than
    this world dreams of.
           Wherefore let thy
    voice rise like
             a fountain
    for me night and day.
           For what are men
    better than sheeps
             or goats
    that nourish a blind
             life
    within the brain,
           If, knowing God, they
    lift not hands
             of prayer not
    only for themselves
             but for
    those who call them
            
    friend?
           For so this whole round earth
    is
             every way bound by gold
    chains
             about the feet of
    God.
     
                                
    - Tennyson


    I love Tennyson and the way he lyrically wrote his poetry. I haven't written much lately  and wish I could tap back into that part of my brain. It seems like it's a dried up river and there is no stream flowing in to refill it.

    I spoke with my brother the other day and it was yet again a wonderful conversation. He told me how he has never felt better and how months ago he'd have liked to have taken his own life but now.. now he has the will to live, and thrive in this life. He has a purpose again. His life has purpose again.

    So by way of the power of prayer I feel as if not only time helped heal him but so did prayer. Despite not attending mass as much as I should I'm still a prayerful person. I pray on the way to work, while I'm at work and sometimes on the way home.

    Then again, there are times that our prayers go unanswered and those are also gifts we may not always recognize. There's a Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" in which he is thanking God for not answering the prayer in which he hopes to marry his high school sweetheart but doesn't. In the end he gets married to someone else and he's thankful for her.

    I remember thinking that when I was dating right after high school. I was so in love with this boy and he broke my heart into a thousand peices. I thought then that I wouldn't find another like him, another who made me feel special and loved. I thought he was the one who would hold my hand until I was gone.

    Next Sunday, a week from today Steve and I will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. If I had married the other one who knows what would have happened. I'm thankful for my unanswered prayer because it brought me to Steve. Some pain and suffering occured before I found him that left me wounded and bruised. He took his time and worked to heal those wounds.

    Our 18 years haven't been picture perfect or peaceful always. We've had our moments and times when I wondered what the heck we were doing. There are no guarantees that there is a tomorrow and I'm grateful for my today and my yesterdays. 

    There is such beauty in the smallest of moments that it is those I hold onto longest. The tense more frustrating moments, they get me down, but it is those small golden moments that I'm thankful for.  Those are the moments which get us through.

    So I pray and I know that not all will be answered but that is ok.

     

Comments (3)

  • That is awesome news about your brother. 18 years really says a lot. So I pray and I know that not all will be answered but that is ok. Ah, faith, I wish I had more of that. What an inspiring post.

  • I always loved Tennyson, too!  I remember when I was in grade school, we all read The Highwayman out loud together.  When we got to "The highwayman came riding...riding.  The highwayman came riding...up to the old inn door." we would get louder in anticipation of what might be coming next.  It always felt a little exciting to me for all of us to react together to the tempo.Thanks for reminding me of that tiny moment!

    Sometimes the unanswered prayer IS the answer!  It is the path we were meant to walk.  It is our opportunity to live our faith, our professed faith that God will place us where we need to be.  It is something I forget all the time. 

    Have a terrific week!

  • Aww, don't be mad at me! You are NOT old and you are very young at heart no matter what your physical age is! I am just having a tough time with this "almost 30" stuff and when I have two babies at home I don't want to be mistaken for my mother, lol.

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