February 23, 2006

• It's funny when you hear the words "it could be cancer" how your mind starts working. My mind has been working overtime since I heard those words last month. I would be fine one day and the next morbidly afraid of my own mortality. Some may call it self pity or something similar but you know when it's handed to you in that form you begin to think of all the things you want to do before it is your time.  What people don't understand I think is it's not like you sit and obsess over dying but rather living. I tried to tell all of my friends how much they meant to me and didn't get to everyone yet. Living and appreciating the people I have in my life were more of a priority than thinking about the possibilities. I wasn't seeking attention but rather expressing how I felt. I think I have learned by far who I can truly count on to support me should that day come and those people know I'll be by their side should they ever need me.

  So it's one test down and one to go and I know no matter what the outcome I'm going to be fine. But I do go forward with a renewed sense of appreciation for life and those in mine.

  Thank you for your cheers today and the hugs too.. I felt them
  How ironic.. this is my horoscope for today:
  It's time for a new POV. Radically change how you
  relate to your physical presence. Maybe that means a new haircut. Maybe
  that means loving the miracle that is your body. Tell yourself how
  lovely you are -- and believe it.

  • 1:36 am
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